UNLeashed: day 13 - EMBODIED CONFIDENCE
DAY 13 - PHASE 3: EMBODIMENT
Moving With Confidence and Grace
THE GAP BETWEEN PERCEPTION AND REALITY
Here's something I've noticed after working with thousands of people over the years: most of us walk around thinking we're showing up one way when in reality, we're showing up completely differently.
You think you're being too much when you're actually just super present. You think you're awkward when you're actually just being real. You think people are judging you when they're actually just watching you be yourself and wishing they could do the same…
There's a gap between how you perceive yourself and how you're actually being received, and that gap is usually created by the story your inner critic is running on repeat. The story that says you're doing more than you’re capable of, you're not polished enough, you're not credible yet, you're too loud, you're not ready.
But here's the truth: it's honestly not that bad and doesn’t translate as terribly as you think. And you're showing up way more powerfully than you think you are!
I’ve personally realized this in my own life as a speaker. There have been many moments where I thought I bombed, looked sloppy, or didn’t get my point across; only to view the footage after and see a much more refined, together, and with-it version of myself than I realized. I started using that as feedback to trust how I showed up on stage more confidently.
The fire horse doesn't second-guess how it moves. It doesn't shrink or back-track when it enters the field. It doesn't apologize for taking up natural space. It just flows as it’s meant to… with power, with grace, with presence.
Because confidence isn't a feeling you wait for or perfect. Confidence is an organic expression. It's how you walk into a room and trust you’re supposed to be there. It's how you hold your posture when you speak and let yourself be present within the space and those around you.
And when you move with confidence in your body, your energetic system believes it and the universe repeats it.
CONFIDENCE AS MOMENTUM
And let's be clear about what confidence actually is, because there's a lot of misconception around this.
Confidence does NOT have to mean loud or bold or showy or egoic. Confidence can be quiet... It can be simple or soft.
Confidence is just the absence of self-doubt in the moment. It's trusting that you're supposed to be in the room. It's moving through space without apologizing for existing. It's speaking without second-guessing or justifying every word. It's being present without needing to prove anything or reach for extra validation. It’s making a mistake and then owning it.
That's it. That's confidence.
So when we practice moving with confidence, we're not practicing being louder or bigger or more extraverted. We're practicing being more present, more grounded, more YOU.
And here's something interesting to note: confidence isn't always a feeling that comes first and then movement follows. It can actually work the other way around. You move confidently, and then your body registers and goes "oh, I see… we're confident now!"
Think about a horse. When it's confident, you can see it in how it moves; head up, chest forward, deliberate steps and a graceful rhythm. When it's uncertain, its whole body changes; hesitant, tense, fearful, looking for escape routes. Your body works the same way.
Your energetic system doesn't know the difference between acting as if and actually being. It just responds to the signals your body is giving it. So if you walk into a room with your shoulders back, your chest open, your head up, and your gaze steady, your nervous system says "we're safe, we're grounded, we belong here, let’s have some fun." But if you walk in hunched, looking down, trying to make yourself small, your system says "we're not safe, we need to hide, we don't belong let’s get out of here."
Same room, two very different possibilities. Which do you want?
So I want you to start practicing moving with confidence and grace… literally, physically, in your actual body so your energetic system can catch up to who you actually are.
THE PRACTICE: MOVING WITH CONFIDENCE AND GRACE
For this practice, you're going to need:
A space where you can move (your living room, bedroom, hallway; anywhere with a few feet of open space)
A mirror (optional but helpful)
A playlist (Use your own or I've curated one for you - see below)
15 minutes uninterrupted
Step 1: Notice Your Default
Stand up. Walk across the room like you normally would. Just move naturally.
Now pause and notice:
Where are your shoulders? (Hunched forward? Rounded? Tight?)
Where are your eyes looking? (Down? Away? Unfocused?)
How's your chest? (Collapsed? Guarded? Open?)
How's your pace? (Rushed? Slow? Uncertain?)
How's your energy? (Trying to be invisible? Taking up space? Somewhere in between?)
This is your default. The way you move when you're not thinking about it. And chances are, it's the movement pattern of someone trying not to be seen, trying not to take up too much space, trying to stay safe by staying small.
There's nothing wrong with that. It's kept you safe. But it's not the movement pattern of someone who holds visibility, leadership, and embodiment.
Step 2: Adjust Your Posture
Now, reset your body.
Stand tall. Roll your shoulders back and down (not tense, just open). Lift your chest slightly. Soften your belly. Lengthen your spine like there's a string pulling you up from the crown of your head. Exhale.
Look forward, not down. Let your gaze be steady, not darting around or avoiding.
Feel your feet on the ground. Solid. Rooted. You're not floating. You're here.
This is the posture of confidence. Not arrogance. Not performance. Just presence.
Step 3: Walk With Intention
Now, put on the playlist. Choose a song that makes you feel powerful, grounded, alive, happy.
Walk across the room with this new posture. Shoulders back. Chest open. Gaze forward. Rooted feet. Steady pace.
The fire horse doesn't tiptoe. It doesn't shuffle. It moves with intention. Every step is deliberate. Every movement says "I belong here." That's the energy we're embodying right now.
Don't rush. Don't hesitate. Just move with intention.
Walk like you belong here. Walk like you're not apologizing for taking up space. Walk like you trust yourself.
Do this a few times. Back and forth across the room. Let your body learn what confident movement feels like.
Step 4: Add Variations
Now play with it!!
Walk like you're walking into a room where everyone's watching you. How does your body want to move? Does it want to shrink? Notice that. Then choose the confident posture instead.
Walk like you're walking on stage to speak. Same thing. Notice the impulse to make yourself small. Then choose presence instead.
Walk like you're walking into a meeting where you're leading. Feel the difference between trying to prove yourself and simply being yourself.
Walk like you're walking down the street and someone you admire sees you. Do you change how you move? Do you perform? Or can you just be?
Each time, notice the default impulse, then choose the confident movement instead.
Step 5: Mirror Work
If you have a mirror, do this practice while watching yourself.
Most of us avoid looking at ourselves when we're moving, speaking, or showing up because we don't want to see what we think we look like (awkward, too much, not polished).
But when you actually watch yourself move with confidence, you'll see the gap between perception and reality.
Watch yourself walk, stand, smile and take up space.
Let your system see the evidence: "Oh. I actually do look confident. I actually do belong here."
Step 6: Dance Party
Now, turn up the volume. Pick the song on the playlist that makes you feel most alive.
And just freaking dance!!
Just move your body with joy, with freedom, with zero agenda other than feeling good in your own skin.
Let your hips sway. Let your arms move however they want. Let your head bob. Let your feet stomp or glide or twirl. Let your whole body just BE.
This is what embodied confidence feels like when no one's watching and you're not trying to get it right. This is you, fully expressed, fully present, fully alive. And it’s the best :)
Dance for at least one full song. Let yourself be ridiculous. Let yourself be free. Let yourself remember that your body is allowed to take up space and feel good doing it.
When you can move like this…free, uninhibited, joyful, you're showing your energetic system that visibility doesn't have to be scary. It can be fun!
Music shifts energy. It gives your body permission to move differently.
Feel free to select your own songs for the practice - and share with me if you think I’ll love it!
JOURNALING:
PERCEPTION VS REALITY CHECK
After you've done the movement practice, journal on these:
How I think I show up when I'm visible:
How I actually show up (based on what I saw in the mirror or felt in my body):
The story my inner critic tells me about how I move through the world:
The reality of how I actually move through the world:
What would change if I trusted the reality instead of the story?
INTEGRATION: CONFIDENCE AS DAILY PRACTICE
Here's the thing about embodied confidence: it's not a one-time practice. It's a daily choice.
Every time you walk into a room, you choose how you move. Every time you speak, you choose how you hold your body. Every time visibility shows up, you choose presence or performance.
So here's your integration practice for the rest of this program and beyond:
Before you walk into any space where you'll be seen; a meeting, a stage, a room full of people, even just the coffee shop - pause.
Roll your shoulders back. Open your chest. Lift your gaze. Feel your feet. Smile.
Remember: the fire horse doesn't wait for the green light to gallop. It doesn't wait to feel ready. It just goes when it feels called. And when it moves, everything around it responds to that energy. You're the same, love. When you move with confidence, the room responds and adapts accordingly.
So walk in like you belong there. Because you do :)
Confidence isn't something you wait to feel. It's something you choose to embody.